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Can’t think of a Title

My mind is full, but my thoughts are empty

I’m always busy, but I’m doing nothing

 

I leave so early and I’m just on time

Spending so little but I have no savings

 

Drifting with a plan I don’t follow

I know what to change, but I don’t know how

 

It’s hard to realize we were nothing

but I treated you like my everything

 

It’s not your fault, you’re too perfect…

It’s my fault I’m not perfect at all

 

We don’t align

I think it’s time

for me to move on

but I can’t

 

I want to leave

but I need you around

 

I want to hate you

but you’re always on my mind

 

Fog clutters my processes

Bliss is too far to find

 

Was it love that forced this on me

Or am I just tired of being alone

 

Have I reached the critical point

Is it time for me to make or break

 

Unsure of what’s going on

I don’t know why it’s happening

 

Could she be the one

I try not to ask

 

But I keep wondering…

I keep hoping

 

Too much hope, I’m blinded

I can’t see her pain.

 

 

But        now        it’s        too        late

 

Trees are cracked, the ground smolders

Can they regrow, will the flowers return…

 

Whimper into darkness, for I choose not to see

Destruction has torn it apart, ravaged the cages

 

My protective is open, my evils flourish

What I’ve tried to hide comes fourth

 

I close my eyes but it’s already too late

Step back in horror, and try run

 

Rain is pouring, freezing sets in

An unfamiliar warmth approaches

 

A sprout, hope beginning

I gaze around but see no more

 

The warm doesn’t feel right

With a heavy sigh, crush the sprout

 

Warmness fades away and the cold resets

With heavy heart, turn around

 

Time to leave but more sprouts appear

Every one, snaps like the first

 

Sprout

Crush

 

 

Sprout

Crush

 

Sprout

Crush

 

 

Sprout

 

 

 

 

Wait

 

This sprout is different

Sprout

The rain is still falling

 

But the warm is returning

Sprout

People are standing, watching, listening

 

They nurture the sprouts but anger flows

Crush.

The clouds dissipate but there is no sun

 

Sprout

Sprout

Crush.

 

Love

Nurture

Crush.

 

Where broken trees stood, saplings are planted

Life reborn, although not the same

 

What could have been may never be

but.

 

What should be will always appear

Things aren’t controlled

 

Life is unpredictable

No matter how easy it may seem

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Posted by on February 21, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Closing Time

You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

Today, in a couple hours is convocation for the 2015 Radio Broadcasting program. In a couple hours, I can say that I have officially completed college. Which is, scary, and amazing all together.

I can honestly say in the last bit of highschool, I had no plans for myself. I didn’t get the marks that I needed to go into what my childhood dream was – being a lawyer. Damn those English essays. But in my last year, and forgive me for how cliché this sounds, but I found myself. I discovered who I am, and what I could become. I pursued Radio on the suggestion of my Grandma, and when she mentioned the idea, it seemed so obvious. I don’t stop talking, I love music, and my personality is pretty killer (it has some kinks, but no one can be perfect).

Without trying to sounding too much like a bad award ceremony speech, there are a lot of people who supported me through this. I’ve never really had a place throughout highschool, and support was lacking. But going into college was a different experience. It was the first time I was in charge of my life and I was in charge of what was happening to me. Most importantly though was my family. I remember telling my parents that I was accepted into the program. I had pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot across from the school and called everyone. Starting with my grandmother who told me to do it. She was so happy for me. All people who heard told me what a great choice I made, and I felt confident in myself.

Something that is strange to me is self-confidence. I’ve never had a lot of it. Knowing how well I did in this program has shot my self-confidence into a near ego (which is the part of my killer personality that needs work). It’s amazing how the program has changed me. They say hindsight is 20-20, and that is so true. Looking back just at these last 2 years I’ve shaped myself into someone that I can be proud about, there were some bumps during the course. Some clashes with other personalities, but I never meant for that to happen. I’m just a bit of a hard person  to deal with sometimes.

The whole experience has been a great one overall. The three professors; Paul, Mike, and Tim were more than just that. They truly cared about all the people that came through the program with me. They were more than just professors for me, they didn’t treat you like a student, but a colleague. When I talked to them, if opinions differed we could discuss it. Unlike highschool, just because I was the student didn’t mean that I have insight that they liked to hear. They were open to discuss opinions and even agreed on some things, which is a good feeling. These guys are all experienced professionals in their areas of teaching outside of the program and they made me feel like I was in their skill level. It’s one of the best things I’ve experienced in this program and something I will miss.

It’s amazing to believe that almost 2 years ago today, I was accepted into a life changing opportunity and I made the best of it.

Today I get to graduate with Distinction, among peers, and colleagues. This might be the last time we’re all together, so although I didn’t get along with some people, I hope that we can all cherish this moment for what it is. A final goodbye before we take our paths out into the world. I hope everyone in the program with me does amazing things, and maybe we’ll meet a little bit later down the path of life, and if not. We could always share a map of life again sometime.

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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“Real” Men/Women

As always, my Facebook feed is filled with people who think that their idea of what someone should be is the way it should be.

And I suppose me ranting about this in this fashion is the same thing I’m complaining about but just bare with me for a second.

I’m TIRED of seeing stupid pictures, statuses, links and anything else on Facebook about what a “real” man/woman should be or should do. For the most part, it’s women on my newsfeed saying things like “A real man does X” or “This is what a real man does” or “A woman should be treated like X by her MAN”. And it’s bloody stupid. It’s usually used for one thing: to make whoever shared it feel better about themselves. It’s a way to say that they didn’t deserve whatever their ex did and that he clearly wasn’t a “real” man because he didn’t follow whatever it is they’re sharing.

My favourite one (and by favourite I mean the one I hate the most), is a picture that says something along the lines of “real man like meat, only animals go for bones” – implying that “real” men date “above average” women, and that only animals go for women who are smaller, skinny, petite, whatever you want to call them. And you know who shares this picture? Women who are above average in weight, and single. You know why they share this? Me neither, but my guess is that they can’t find anyone who wants to date them, so that guy must be a loser, or an animal if you want to use the picture mentioned before. So they post these stupid pictures saying men are the issue, when they aren’t.

But I can’t leave out the men posting this crap too. I often see pictures saying “A real girl will do xyz for her guy and also do abc”. Or the retaliation picture “real men date whoever they want”, which isn’t helping the situation at all. I’m not sure if you’ve picked up on this as well, but when guys on Facebook post these stupid pictures, they often refer to the opposite sex as “girl” when the women post things about “men”. So right away what does that say about what we’re looking at? Guys not referring to a potential partner as a woman, so maybe they’re only interested in immature women? Well that’s probably one issue why you have to post those things, you’re after the wrong demographic. (I won’t even start on this nice guys don’t get dates shit that I used to blame all the time)

So men are blaming women for being single, and women are blaming men. And it’s always the same thing. Here’s a thought for everyone, maybe you’re single because the people you’re trying to date, DON’T LIKE YOU. I know, it’s a strange concept. Maybe you’re just too annoying for them? Maybe the way you do something makes them mad and instead of trying to change you, they’re just hopping ship early? A lot of people always complain that the person tries to change them, and then more pictures are online about “real x/y won’t try to change you”.

You know what a “real” person/man/woman is? Someone who isn’t imaginary. Whoa, what? Just because someone doesn’t do what you think they should doesn’t make them any less of a person. If you’re above average weight, and a person doesn’t want to date you because of that, that doesn’t mean they’re not real. It means they have a preferred interest and sorry to say, you’re not it. Just because people don’t like you or aren’t interested in you, doesn’t make them less of a person.

You know what you should focus on? Finding someone who will accept you for you. If they’re not interested in you, who cares? Why should it matter, they don’t like you. Stop posting this “real x/y will do a/b for their z/c” because everyone is different, and you can’t just blanket everyone to having to do exactly what you think is right because you think it’s right. (which is what this post is, it’s ironic comedy, I did it on purpose)

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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It was coming…

It’s been in the news for almost a week and I think it’s about time to talk about: Jian Ghomeshi and the “consensual” issues.

I’ve been trying to get the most information before making an “in stone” opinion about this so I’m trying to tread carefully.

After reading the Star article, I can definitely understand the claims against him, IF (notice the word if) all the statements are true, then Ghomeshi is a bit rougher to … new?  participants of his sexual desires. Does that make him a bad guy? Well, that really depends. But I’m not here to talk morals.

The problem with this whole thing is that in most of the cases, the women didn’t identify if they wanted what Ghomeshi would give them.

Which, would classify as unconsensual and inappropriate. But those stories go back to 2003…

So what’s the real issue here?

I’m not trying to “white-knight” or to try to appear as something more than I am, but lets look at this.

The issue is women are afraid to report “sexual assault” or “sexual harassment”. I put it in quotation marks because sometimes what is conceived as either of those cases, aren’t really.

WHOA! I’ve had discussions with colleagues and I’m trying to understand some of these cases. One of which the accused was inappropriate to her, and before it got serious she left, then returned two weeks later. That’s a bit… dumb isn’t it? But, even if her choice was poor, it gives no right to be treated in a way that she feels uncomfortable with.

There was other stories how a CBC employee had Ghomeshi accused of sexual harassment at work and a producer asked how she could make the workplace less toxic. And apparently, nothing really happened. This is an issue.

There was claims that no investigation was launched, and that Ghomeshi had no action taken against him.

So, maybe we shouldn’t look at Ghomeshi as the main issue. This kind of thing happens too often, with names that no one knows, and the same thing happens. One woman says it happens, and no investigation, or they can’t prove it.

It takes MULTIPLE women accusing the same guy, and the guy right now happens to be, (or used to be) a CBC Host on Radio shows. So instead of looking at Ghomeshi, let’s look at why women are AFRAID, LITERALLY AFRAID, of reporting sexual harassment, sexual assault and why nothing happens.

We shouldn’t blame Ghomeshi, (well, again that depends), if he likes it rough, that’s his life. If women aren’t consenting, and he’s doing it anyway, why can’t these women come forward? One at a time? Why does it HAVE TO be multiple women to get anything done.

Let’s go society, pick it up.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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RE: #UnfollowAman

If you’re on my facebook or listen to me on air you’ll know my opinion about this article. I felt a more in depth look at it would be necessary though.

An article on Buzzfeed was focused on unfollowing men on twitter because you should.

Apparently, the author, Katie Notopoulos (how do you say that??{not important right now}), felt that since she unfollowed all men on twitter her life has been just wonderful. I’m happy for you.

But that’s your reaction, blanketing the fact that you’re happier because of you unfollowing men is something that you decided. Just because you did it, doesn’t mean it’ll work for everyone. Saying “This is the only way to use Twitter.” is not a very good representation of the idea.

What it comes down to is radical feminists thinking that men are evil. Blaming men for the issues on their twitter feed and facebook feeds. There’s no proof that unfollowing all men was the real issue on her twitter feed; is it possible that people just coincidentally had better things to post during that time?

The main issue is that people will think this is what feminism is about, but it’s not. Feminism is about equal rights for men and women right? Breaking the glass ceiling, bridging the wage gap. THAT is what people will relate this to. People will relate this negative opinion on men onto feminism and now feminism is tainted with the fact that one woman blames men for her issues and voices it publicly.

The way the author just blames men is astounding and, guess what, SEXIST. HOLY CRAP BATMAN, a woman is being sexist. She expected this response I guess because at the end of it she answered the question before it was asked “Isn’t #UnfollowAMan and unfollowing all men sexist?

Great question! This will be discussed in further detail during White History Month.”

So she knows exactly what she’s doing, and if she’s serious about this, I don’t have much faith for REAL feminism to work. Posts like these are why feminists are taken seriously, and why some men (NOT ALL MEN) don’t want equality. (This isn’t the only reason feminists are taken seriously, some men are dicks).

The wording on this makes it seem like only men are posting annoying things on twitter “The idea is to empower you to find a man on your Twitter feed who has been kind of driving you nuts with his bad opinions, and unfollow his ass”. EMPOWER YOU, because women are too weak to unfollow people that annoy them on their own right?

YOU are putting women down by even writing this assuming they can’t even unfollow someone without being told they can. My favourite part in this was her giving men permission to participate, because people on the internet need permission to associate (gotta love Rights and Freedoms). Even commenting that men make this about themselves saying this wish they could unfollow themselves. And that men should avoid being delusional.

Providing tips on the end of the article on how to unfollow men is probably the icing on the cake. Some men questioned them and she only said “Oh, it’s not just you, I unfollowed all men”. She won’t even tell them that they annoying her, she just blankets them all because all men MUST be the same right?

If you think this is a good idea, you are not a feminist. You are an idiot. You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be fighting against:blanketing all of one gender to stereotypes.

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

“eSports”

Well, I figure it’s about time to talk about it, what in the world is “eSports”?

I can tell you what it is: not a damn sport.

The competitive gaming scene has been around for a while, although if you told people you want to be a competitive gamer for a living most likely you were harassed by some idiot quarterback who couldn’t tell you any digits of Pi. Apparently some people wanted to push the idea of competitive gaming further and now we have eSports.

If you’re still in the dust about it, or don’t believe me Dota2 had it’s championship streamed on ESPN (2&3) but it’s possible that eventually it will become something that is on the main branch of ESPN. The top prize was 10.8 MILLION DOLLARS. That’s right, MILLION, split for the winning team. Some schools down south have even starting using League of Legends as a sports team, doing in house intramural and attempting to have tournaments across the school boards.

Alright, I love video games as much as the next guy, or maybe a little more, (okay a lot more) but I’m starting to think this has gotten a bit far. Before, video game tournaments had their place on the internet. There was various ways to watch them, YouTube, TwitchTV, and it was nice. It’s trying to push now into more mainstream – streaming on ESPN. The reason I can think of for this is because when you tell people you want to play video games for a living, they laugh at you. Sports fans will tell you to man up, play football, nerds will tell you that they care about their education, and the list goes on which leaves you as a bit of an outcast. What it comes down to really is video games isn’t a legitimate way to earn a living. It’s not a popular way.

But isn’t it?

There are tons of YouTubers who upload gameplay and make money per views. There are lots of people that want to professionally compete in video game tournaments to make money. And with the Dota2 championship on ESPN, video games are becoming a source of income. They are becoming a legitimate way to make money. It’s becoming the future of some people.

If the trend continues, I’m guessing there will be multiple gaming tournaments streamed live and a possibility is a young kid wanting to be the next trick2g or the next xpeke. Wanting to be the next captain of C9 or Curse.

And when that time comes, it’s going to be the same reaction as someone wanting to be in the NHL or NBA. “That’s really difficult, why not try to be something else”

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Feminism/#EndFathersDay

So if by chance you were listening to me on air (Did I ever mention I’m now in radio??) on Twitter, #EndFathersDay is trending. Now, of course everything you see on the internet is true so YAEH LET’S DO IET! Most people blame Feminists, problem is; feminists didn’t start this trend. It was from the… popular (?) site 4chan who is generally known for starting shit. Of course the wondrous mass of twitter took to the hashtag blaming feminists and saying that this is why people hate feminists.

 

Newsflash: Feminists aren’t like that. (or I would hope not)  TRUE feminism is women fighting to have equal rights as men, which according to them hasn’t happened yet. It can be argued either way about which sex has “more” rights but it should be equal for both. The problem is when people hear feminism a lot of them think of people who are extreme feminists.

Those feminists want to make men suffer for the pain and problems that were caused to women a good time ago. These women want men to have the rights that they had (so none). They want men to feel what they’ve been through, which I understand, you want to inflict onto others that has been inflicted onto you. (Protip: Vengeance doesn’t work)

In Grade 12 I did a report/presentation on the equality of Men and Women (fun fact did you know that “Mrs” for married women came from the idea that the married woman was the property of the man? [Mr’s]). And my teacher (who was a woman) brought up the point that the equality of the sexes is a pendulum effect. It used to be swinging up for men, women had nothing, but instead of it dropping even it has ended up shifting towards women just a tad. Feminists would argue that the idea of that is untrue based on sexual assaults and glass ceilings and the fact that women are still treated poorly but just give it a thought. Most of the following content was taken from my ides for the presentation.

In my class, there was only nine of us. Five guys, and four girls. If I were to walk up to one of the women and just punched them in the face for no apparent reason you can assume that I would be immediately jailed and fined for assault. I’m now a horrible power-hungry aggressive human being because of this. Any other guy in the class would gladly rather take matters into his own hands and deal with me himself, but that won’t help “the system”. Flip the situation: If a woman in that class were to come up to me and punch me in the face, immediate thoughts would be what? Probably along the lines of, “he deserved it” somehow, it was my fault I got hit. No one in the school would be against her because I am the man in the situation. Sure she would probably get a talking to, but it’d be very rare that she would be charged. The police would probably question me just as much to see if I somehow provoked it. No one else in the school would be against her, because they would probably think I deserved it somehow.

But I mean, feminists might say that’s fair. If you’re still reading at this point, watch this video and come back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYV6y1vH2Lk

If you don’t wanna spend two extra minutes then I’ll summarize: Two scenarios, man abuses woman, eventually someone tells him off. Change scenes, woman abuses man, no one said a thing. Instead, everyone was laughing at the situation.

Following the trend of domestics, how many public housing centers are around here for abused women? A crap ton. How many are for men? Maybe one or two. Yet, the domestic assault rate is about the same. Surprisingly. According to that video, 40% of domestics are against men. So that means about 40% of the domestic assaults shelters should be for men right? Now the other reason that they’re aren’t as many homes is maybe men don’t want the houses? Maybe their masculinity and self-esteem is worth more to them than getting help. (I think I’ve talked about this before, stupid men)

Now originally, this post was suppose to be about the stupid hashtag that was trending but it’s shifted a bit and I’m just going to continue on this path.

More reasons men and women aren’t equal: Sexual assault. If a men even accidentally grazes, touches a woman inappropriately, he’s a demon, SLAY HIM. If a woman were to walk up and just give a guy a squeeze what do you think the odds of her being charged? Not likely, you know why? Because men are sexual animals and that’s all we think about. We should be GLAD this woman approached us like that. Yay! This must be feminism in action right?

 

I’m all for feminism, I’m all for with equal rights for women and men. I’m also all for equal rights for gays and straights, and black and whites. I have an idea! Let’s group it all together and call it “Human Rights”! Call me crazy but this may be a good way of looking at this. It shouldn’t matter if you’re: gay, straight, a man, a woman, black, white, asian, purple, hispanic or if you think that the colour red is stupid and should be removed from a rainbow. It’s human rights that are the issue, making it an individual problem for the demographs of human rights may have worked before, but we have more power to just help everyone.

 

Oh, and I love you dad. Thanks for being in my life. (even though sometimes you’re a bit special)

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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